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Couples therapy

Here For You

When should you go to couples therapy? Does it help?

We often get these questions in Arendal. If you are even thinking about couples counseling for your relationship, then that is a good sign your relationship could benefit from couples therapy. But how to know when to ask for help before a possible breakup.

Some couples are able to make changes on their own. However, for these changes to work you need an understanding about the needs that are behind the negative feelings you are experiencing in your relationship. Some of our clients open the conversation with: "We're not fighting, but we are not OK, can you get help us?" Not fighting is not an indicative if your relationship is good or not. Everyone who has experienced to be meet by silence or when you feel that the spark is gone, knows that the relationship has become a friendship and only that.

We Can Find Out Together

During the first appointment we will map the essence of the couples challenges and what you would like to accomplish through therapy. During this session I will present how I work, the tools to be used and how often is advisable to meet.There are many couples that during this first session experience clarity regarding their challenges and what is most important for them. There is no commitment during this first session, and you can decide whether this method is right for you.

To Be Willing is the Key 

Most of the couples succeed in finding their way back to love and to each other when the willingness to work on their relationship is present. One or maybe both may be in doubt whether they can continue, but they want to try and that’s what is needed.  

Some of the things you to work with together are:  

  • To be able to listen in silence 

  • Distinguish between present and past

  • Learn what your and your partner's basic needs are

  • Learn to communicate what you need when your needs are not met

  • Learn to make a request base on your needs 

  • Learn how your partner feels loved and cared for

  • Strengthen the relationship by taking responsibility for oneself and one's own mistakes

  • Learn to inquiry if your thoughts about your partner are real or if your mind is playing you. 


5 signs you need couple’s therapy, according to experts

1.  When communication fails

Communications is key in every relationship. If we aren’t able to effectively communicate with our partners, then we will never be able to truly support one another. Couples therapy can provide more helpful communication techniques. ​


2.  When an external crisis affects the relationship 

It is well known that external problems can affect a relationship, for example: being fired, the death of a family member, financial problems, etc. Couples therapy can help a couple cope through the more difficult times in life.

​3.  You feel like you’ve lost the spark 

A clear sign that one should seek help is when there is a lack of emotional and physical intimacy in your partnership. It's about much more than sexuality. 

Signs of love such as touch, being able to see directly into each other’s eyes or a hug may be missing or maybe there is very little of in your relationship. It can be difficult to break the ice to start getting this connection with your partner again. A couples therapist can help partners better understand why there is a lack of physical intimacy and how to effectively build back that bond again. 

​4.  When plans for the future are unclear

Planning for a future together is part of a relationship. 

Disagreements and conflicts regarding future plans may damage your relationship. Couples therapy helps to reach agreements based on each other's needs. Here you can get new tools to express your expectations from an honest and deep communication to achieve a good life together. 

5.  When children take too much attention from the relationship

Having children can be one of the greatest joys in life, but it can also be challenging to find the opportunity to be romantic. Through couples therapy, one can find out how you can combine being a parent and being a couple.  

Is Zen Coaching only for people in Arendal?

Of course it is for you in Arendal, but also for you who live elsewhere. I offer zoom meetings in three languages Spanish, English and Norwegian. For those who live in Arendal and in Agder usually takes less than an hour to come to my office. But if you want to save that travel time, or you do not have the opportunity at the moment, we can meet via Zoom.


Talks between the parties take place under a duty of confidentiality.  


Book an appointment here - and get quick help




Parterapi Arendal



Let’s connect for 30 minutes about your challenges and ideas and how Zen Coaching can help. I’ll listen empathically, identify themes, ask questions and seek your opinion. I’ll share processes, stories, and potential outcomes. You’ll choose whether I’m the right coach to help you.

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